The park was so peaceful that day, so sunny. I was just walking around the grounds, smiling at the cloudless blue sky, my mind totally blank, for once. I had so much on my mind, during that seventh year, that a little break on a Sunday afternoon did me a whole lot of good.
I was on my third walk around the lake when I heard a sniffling noise beneath the leaves of a weeping willow. Too curious to keep on walking, I looked between two branches to see who it was. A small form was lying face down on the ground, apparently sobbing. The long auburn hair that made a halo around her head left no doubt as to whom I was looking at. It was Lily Evans.
My mind was torn. On one side, I was too much of a gentleman to leave a crying girl alone, without at least trying to help her. But on the other side, Lily had been my archenemy for almost seven years now; I couldn’t just ignore that because she was sad. I was about to turn around and leave silently when she sat up, wiping her eyes. Almost unconsciously, I took a few steps inside the shelter of the tree and knelt down right beside her. She was still looking at me with her big, teary green eyes. I awkwardly put my arms around her frail shoulders and pulled her toward me, even though a small voice in my head was telling me to get up and run away.
To my surprise, Lily let herself melt in my arms, and laid her head in the crook of my shoulder, still crying softly. I had never really known what to do in those kinds of situations, so after a few moments of awkward silence, I did the first thing that popped into my head: I started singing.
‘It's amazing how you can speak right to my heart
Without saying a word, you can light up the dark
Try as I may I can never explain
What I hear when you don't say a thing’
It was my mother’s favourite song; she always sang it when I was a child. I still don’t know why I decided to sing that to Lily. Maybe it was just a coincidence, maybe my subconscious made me do it. I guess I’ll never know.
After the first verse, I stopped singing. I thought maybe hearing my poor singing voice wasn’t really what she needed right now. In fact, I didn’t quite know what she needed...
I looked down at her face, half-hidden by her tousled hair. The few rays of light that passed through the branches of the tree touched her tear-stained face, giving it an angelic glow. I couldn’t help smiling when she wrapped her arms around my chest, pulling me even closer.
Watching my arch nemesis snuggle against me, seeming to appreciate the closeness, I wondered what I was doing. Wasn’t this the girl I threw in the lake a week ago? The same girl I locked in a broom closet last year at Christmas? This girl was now looking to me for comfort. And I knew for a fact she hated me as much as I did.
She opened her eyes and looked up at me.
‘Keep singing,’ she whispered.
‘The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall
You say it best… when you say nothing at all’
As I sang, I gently picked a few leaves out of her hair. Maybe she wasn’t as bad as she looked, up at school. Right now, as I held her in my arms, I could never have associated her with the stuck-up witch who strutted around the castle acting as if it was all her own. For now, she was just an innocent, vulnerable girl, who needed comfort.
I tightened my grip around her slightly, taking pleasure in our closeness, in spite of what my instincts told me. Her white skin was so soft, her silky hair smelled like strawberries. I wondered how come I had never before noticed how beautiful Lily was. She slowly twined her slender fingers around mine, softly stroking my palm with her thumb, leaving a pleasant tingling sensation in its wake.
Lily turned her face up towards mine, and looked me in the eye, smiling faintly. I wiped a tear from her cheek, and ran my fingers through her hair. Then, before I know what I was doing, I bent down and our lips connected.
As soon as I felt the contact, my senses came flooding back and I raised my head, half-worried and half-pleased at what I had done. Lily was going to kill me. She was positively going to murder me on the spot. Being comforted by me was on thing, being kissed was a whole other story, a taboo as far as I was concerned.
But she didn’t move. For a few seconds after the kiss, she didn’t utter a sound, didn’t move an eyelash. Just when I was wondering if I should maybe say something, she stretched her neck and our lips connected again, this time much more seriously. She parted her lips slightly, and I hesitatingly slipped my tongue between them. I felt Lily’s hands slide up my back, into my hair. I placed my hands on her waist, pulling her so tightly against me that no breath of air could pass between us. This was paradise.
If anyone had told me a week ago that I’d soon be kissing Lily Evans, and enjoying it, I would have laughed in their face. If they’d told me that she would enjoy it also, I would have fainted. But I guess no one can predict the future, just like no one can control love. They say the heart chooses who we love, not the brain. Now I believe them.
After a few minutes of lip-lock, we finally pulled apart, out of breath. Her face was a scant few inches away from mine, and I could feel her hot breath against my cheek. Looking deep into those green eyes of hers, I started singing again.
‘All day long I can hear people talking out loud
But when you hold me near, you drown out the crowd
Try as they may they could never define
What's been said between your heart and mine’
We spent the rest of the afternoon under that same tree, holding each other tightly, not saying a word. I appreciated our newly found relationship. Of course, we could never tell anybody at school about it, but it was good to enjoy what we had while we could.
We watched the sun slowly descend in the sky, snuggling even closer as the cold of the night slowly crept toward us. When I felt a shiver go up her spine, I wrapped my cloak around her.
We watched the sunset from our shelter under the tree. It was beautiful; the rays reflecting off the lake gave us the impression of being in an amazing imaginary world. As soon as the sun had completely disappeared beneath the horizon, Lily planted a soft kiss on my cheek and got up. Just before she passed through the willow’s branches, she turned around and looked at me with sparkling eyes.
‘Thank you, Sirius,’ she whispered.
I lay my head against the trunk and thought about the wonderful afternoon I had just spent, with the most wonderful girl I could ever find. I think I was in love.
A few moments later, I got up too, and walked up to the castle through the dark grounds, softly singing the rest of the song, the rest of our song.
‘The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall
You say it best… when you say noting at all’
Our relationship lasted for a week, probably the best week of my life. We met every evening beneath the same willow tree as that first afternoon. When we were together, we didn’t need to talk to understand each other. It was amazing.
Then one day, exactly one week after our first kiss, she broke my heart. When I got to our willow, she was already there, waiting for me. But when I reached to pull her in my arms, she turned away. I asked her what was wrong; she told me she didn’t love me. At first, she thought she did, but she soon realised she loved somebody else. She didn’t want to hurt me even more by seeing me even though she had no feelings toward me anymore. She thought it was for the best if we broke up.
After this declaration, all I could do is sink to the ground, holding my head in my hands. This was I nightmare. Here I was, innocently believing my life could get no better, and then this bomb was dropped on me. How could she not love me, when I would lay my life down for her?
When I looked up, she was gone. I paced around the shelter provided by the willow, and forced myself not to cry. I was not that weak. When I had relatively calmed myself down, I walked slowly back to the school, memories of the same walk I had taken a week ago flooding painfully back to my mind.
‘The smile on your face lets me know that you need me
There's a truth in your eyes saying you'll never leave me
The touch of your hand says you'll catch me wherever I fall
You say it best… when you say noting at all’
The very next day, my heart broke again. As I was walking down a corridor, I crossed Lily, hand in hand with James. James Potter. My best friend. Lily had left me for my best friend. I could hardly believe my eyes. I felt my heart sink to around the level of my knees, and I felt as if I would never smile again.
I watched them until they turned to corner. Lily was laughing heartily, leaning against James’s shoulder, and James himself was smiling as I had never seen him smile before.
They were happy.
I felt like dying.
That smile on your face
The truth in your eyes
The touch of your hand
Lets me know that you need me...
Note de chapitre:
Little song-fic I wrote two years ago that disappeared in my files. I unearthed it today and it turns out it's not as crappy as I remembered it! This is not only my only song-fic, but also the only thing I've ever written in English.
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